Tuesday, 6 November 2012

A Guide to Dixie

1) Go to a state fair. To watch the pig racing is reason enough. Or maybe to try the deep fried butter if you don't value your arteries.

2) Be prepared to only use one faculty of your taste buds: sweet.

3) Learn to love the accent. Especially the pronunciation of the word cement.

4) Become a Panthers fan. And if you find 'football' boring, tailgating spices it up.

5) Do you prefer your pulled pork with a vinegar or tomato based sauce? Pick your answer very carefully. It could cost your friends.

A Carolina Blue Garden
6) Boys do boy things, girls do girl things. Boys live with boys, girls live with girls. But if your foreign, not used to these rules, and end up in a house with the opposite sex, it turns out drinking lots of beer and eating lots of meat is actually quite fun.

7) Don't romanticize the Appalachian Mountains. They're beautiful in Autumn, but they're also very cold. And after a road trip where you've eaten nothing but Cook Out... you're more likely to return looking like an Elk, than excited that you've seen one.

8) Sweet potato ice cream, sweet potato pasta, sweet potato anything... you can find it!

9) If you find yourself at a barn dance, don't be surprised if it's organised by a Christian society to distract people from drinking.

10) When it comes to Christmas, no amount of Southern hospitality or pumpkin pie is going to make up for an English person's craving for Mince Pie.

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